Children's Songs Part One next table of contents

A Girl Scout Went to Camp
collected by Laura Ross

Once a girl scout went to camp (Went to camp)
Went to camp without a lamp (Without a lamp)
Saw a spider in her bed
This is what the girl scout said (Girl scout said):

Spider, spider, go away (Go away)
You are not allowed to stay (Allowed to stay)
No two people in one bed
This is what the girl scout said (Girl scout said)

Once a boy scout went to camp (Went to camp)
Went to camp without a lamp (Without a lamp)
Saw a spider in his bed
This is what the boy scout said (boy scout said):

AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

It Aint A Gonna Rain No Mo
Contributed by Frank McCoy whose commentary was so delightful I'm including the whole thing. His remarks are in boldface. Note that this song has neatly scooped up bits of others including some that can be found elsewhere in this collection. Let's hear it for the folk process!

That's one of those songs that go on forever; as with a big enough crowd of jokers you can always have several people making up NEW verses while others are singing along.

The basis is about three different choruses, mixed up, separated by the new verses which follow a fixed formula.

 The choruses mainly are:
"It ain't a gonna rain no mo no mo."
"It ain't a gonna rain no mo!"
"So how in the heck can I wash my neck,"
"If it ain't a gonna rain no mo?"

OR:
"It ain't a gonna rain no mo no mo."
"It ain't a gonna rain no mo!"
"So how's my niece gonna water my geese,"
"If it ain't a gonna rain no mo?"

The verses however, show much more variety; but they all deal with disaster of some kind:

A peanut sat on a railroad track,
His heart was all a flutter.
Along the track came a choo-choo train,
And mashed him to peanut butter!

(Refrain.)

A man lay down by the sewer,
And by the sewer he died.
And in the coroner's inquest,
He committed sewer-side!

(Refrain.)

As the night grew darker, so did the verses:

Mary had a steamboat.
The steamboat had a bell.
Mary went to Heaven.
The steamboat went ... "Toot - Toot!"

(Refrain.)

And (of course) everybody giggled.

My uncle was a chemist.
A chemist he is no more.
For what he thought was H-2-O,
Was H-2-S-O-4!

(Refrain.)

The steamboat again:

Mary had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell.
Mary pulled the rump-cord,
And blew it all to ... pieces!

(Refrain.)

By this time lots of giggles.

Peter was a rabbit.
A rabbit he is no more.
For what he thought was a rabbit-hole,
Was a hole in the out-house floor!

(Refrain.)

Well ... THIS obviously was getting a bit risque for a CATHOLIC camp. But what shut the whole thing down was:

Mary had a little lamb.
She kept it in a closet.
And every time she took it out,
It left a little deposit!

The place collapsed.

Since then, I've learned a few far more risque versions than that. One in particular:

Mary had a little sheep.
And with the sheep she went to sleep.
The sheep turned out to be a ram.
Mary had a little lamb!

Someplace in Oregon. Probably within a 50 mile radius of Portland. Back around 1952-1954

Ach Du Lieber Augustine
-collected by Joe Bethancourt
Tune: "Ach, Du Lieber Augustine"

Ach, du lieber Augustine, Listerine, castor bean
Wish I was a mean Marine, burning the school!

The Ants Go Marching
From Kay Shapero

(my thanks to Peter Mork for reminding me of this one)

The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah
The ants go marching one by one, the little one stops to suck his thumb
And they all go marching up, and down, and around too three four
One two three four..

The ants go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah…
And so on - the little one stops in each case as follows:

Two: .. tie his shoe
Three: ..climb a tree
Four: ..shut the door
Five: ..learn to drive (or climb a bee hive, with suitable startled tone.)
Six: ..pick up sticks
Seven: ..go to heaven (which you'd think would end the song, but no)
Eight:..shut the gate
Nine: …go and dine
Ten: …start over again.

Sometimes it was all the ants, not just "the little one".

Los Angeles, CA 1950s, early '60s

The Attack on Eggman's Base
Tune: "Battle Hymn of the Republic"
Contributed by Andrea Huckstep

Mine eyes have seen the glory,
the attack on Eggman's base
Sonic grabbed the chaos emerald
and smacked him in the face
then the base go s'plodey
and all the Station square cheered
Dr. Eggman is no more!

Glory, glory hallelujah,
Eggman hit me with a robot,
later he got lost
then he got fed to Andross,
he's not evil no more!

Anti Barney songs
all tto the Barney themesong.
Sung by kids just enough older to wish not to be mistaken for the ones for whom the show was intended.

From Kay Shapero

I hate you you hate me
Let's go out and kill Barney
A shot from a gun and Barney hits the floor
No more purple dinosaur!
(overhead on the elementary playground in Los Angeles, CA circa 1990)

From Marisa "Mayonnaise" Jane G.

I hate you, you hate me,
Barney gave me HIV,
With whole lot of shots,
And a condom every day,
Don't you know that Barney's gay!

Upstate NY, early 1990s.

I was 9 at the time, and didn’t know what HIV, or Condoms were, and thought “gay” meant happy. I was in the 3rd grade, and it was the 5th graders singing it… and frankly speaking it wasn’t until years later that I realized what the hell they were talking about.

(My guess is they didn't either...)

Beans, Beans
From Brent B.

Beans, beans the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot
The more you toot the better you feel
So eat them beans for every meal

Southern California, '70s

From Rachel Force

Beans, beans
They're good for the heart
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart the better you feel
So eat beans with every meal!

Minnesota, circa 1990s

Ball Game
From David Paktor

We used to sing"Take Me Out to the Ball Game" ... one syllable off. Try it:

"Me out to the ball game, take
me-e-e-e out to the crowd buy.
Me some pea-NUTS and crack-ER jack I
DON'T care if I nev-ER get back for
It's root root, root, for, the home Team if
They Don't win it's a shame FOR
It's one two! three! strikes! you're out at
the old -- ball -- game -- ..."

And close your lips and puff up your cheeks...
and just ... leave 'em ... hanging!

Then we'd go for two syllables off, and even three... I don't think I've ever heard it done off by more that three syllables, though...

Summer day camp, Essex County New Jersey, late 1950s

Be Kind...
Words: traditional kids song
Tune: Stars and Stripes Forever
Contributed by Eugene Marksworth

"Be kind to our fine feathered friends...
For a duck may be somebody's muuuuuu-ther,
Don't kill all our fine feathered friends,
There aren't enough for us,

So when hunting season has come,
Just say 'no' to all the hunters and trap-pers,
for someday all the geese will ROAR!
and there'll be eggs, ham & eggs, for all and sun-dry, HEY!"

Variant reported by Kay Shapero

"Be kind to your web-footed friends...
For that duck could be somebody's muuuuu-ther,
Be kind to your friends in the swamp,
Where the weather is very, very dawmp,
You may think that this is the end,
You are right!"

Contributed by Raylene Fokeri(?)

Oh, be kind to your web-footed friends
For a duck may be somebody's mother!
Be kind to your friends in the swamp
Where the weather is cold and damp! (pronounce dah-mp, to rhyme with swamp)
Now you may think that this is the end...
(spoken) Well it is!!!

the above dated around 1976

Big Dan
collected by Kay Shapero

Big Dan was a desperado
From Cripple Creek way down in Colorado
And he went around like a big tornado (pronounced as "tor-NAH-do")
And everwhere he went he gave his war whoop.

He went into the city just to see all of the sights
He saw the hoochie koochies and the girls all dressed in tights
He went into the theater and shot out all the lights
And everwhere he went he gave his war whoop.

Los Angeles, early 1960's

Bill Grogan's Goat
-collected by Laura Ross

Bill Grogan's goat
Was fillin' fine
Ate three red shirts
Right off the line

Bill took a stick
Gave him a whack
And tied him to
The railroad track

A speeding train
Was growing nigh
Bill Grogan's goat
Was doomed to die

He moaned and groaned
And SQUEELED with pain
Coughed up those shirts
Flagged down the train!

Blow, Blow, Blow Your Nose
Contributed by Calvin Smith
tune: Row Row Row Your Boat

Blow Blow Blow your Nose
Make a little stream
Merrily Merrily Merrily Merrily,
Now your nose is clean.

At The Boarding House
From Kay Shapero
(tune: Silver Threads Among the Gold)

At the boarding house where I lived
Everything is growing old
Old grey hairs were in the butter
And the bread was green with mold
…Was green with mold.

When the dog died, we had sausage
When the cat died, catnip tea
When the landlord died I left there
Spare ribs were too much for me
… Too much for me.

Los Angeles, late 1950s

From Robert Carr

In the house where I once boarded,
The bread was always green with mold.
Long, white whiskers on the butter,
Silver threads among the gold.

When the dog died we had hot-dogs;
When the cat died catnip tea,
When the landlord died I left there,
Spareribs were too much for me.

Chicago in the late '30's or early '40's

From Clem Dickey

While the organ pealed potaoes
Lard was rendered by the choir
While the sexton rang the dishrag
Someone set the church on fire.

"Holy smoke!" the preacher shouted
As the flames burned off his hair.
Now his head resembles heaven
For there is no parting there.

Learned from a schoolmate in 5th grade at San Luis Obispo, 1966

Bo-boes
From Mitch Marmel

Bo-boes, they make your feet feel fine
Bo-boes, they cost a nickel and a dime
Bo-boes, they're made for [or by] hoboes
So get your bo-boes at Lobo's [or for hoboes] today...

For the unintiated, bo-boes (or bo-bos) referred to cheap supermarket-type sneakers (the term generic not having been in use back then). At the time this song was written, Keds or Converse hi-tops were de rigeur playground wear...

Bottles of Beer
From Joel Polowin

Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall,
Aleph-null bottles of beer
You take one down, and pass it around,
Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall...

Comet
from Bruce Holloway
(To the tune of "The Colonel Bogey March" as heard in the movie "The Bridge Over the River Kwai")

Comet, it makes your mouth turn green
Comet, it tastes like gasoline,
Comet, it makes you vomit,
So buy some Comet (and vomit) today.

From Bruce Tomlin

Comet, it makes your mouth turn green
Comet, it tastes like Listerine
Comet, it makes you vomit
[I never learned the real last line, but had the following instead:] So come and try it, come try it, todaaay.

From Randall Stukey

As I recall, the last line went:

So get some Comet, and vomit, todaaay. [Shout: Get some!]

From Kay Shapero

Out here it was "Comet, it makes your teeth so green" otherwise the same as above. This along with jokes about "The new 1962 (or whatever) Vomit with throw up windows and bucket seats."

From Ziza

Comet, it tastes like gasoline
Comet, it smells like listerine
Comet, will make you vomit
So get some Comet and vomit today.

From Zenka

Comet, it makes your teeth turn green!
Comet, it makes you wanna scream!
Comet, it makes you vomit,
but it gets your intestines real clean!

From Paul Ruben

Ajax, it makes your teeth turn blue,
Ajax, it tastes like doggy do,
Ajax, it makes you re-lax,
So get some Ajax, and re-lax, today!

Comet, it makes your teeth turn green,
Comet, it tastes like gasoline,
Comet, it makes you vomit,
So get some Comet, and vomit, today!

Various places around the east US coast, 1960s

Deck The Halls With Gasoline
-collected by Joe Bethancourt
Tune: "Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly"

Deck the halls with gasoline, fa la la la la (etc.)
Light a match and watch it gleam,fa la la la la (etc.)
Watch the school burn down to ashes, fa la la la la (etc.)
Aren't you glad you played with matches? fa la la la la (etc.)

From Aaron Davies

Deck the halls with kerosene
Fa-La-La-La-La-La-La-La-La
Light a match and watch it gleam
Fa-La-La-La-La-La-La-La-La
Burn the schoolhouse down to ashes
Fa-La-La-La-La-La-La-La-La
Aren't you glad I played with matches
Fa-La-La-La-La-La-La-La-La

The Dentyne Song
-collected by Cheryl Rae Nyberg
Tune: "My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean"

My Bonnie has tuberculosis.
My Bonnie has one rotten lung.
My Bonnie spits blood in a bucket
And dries it and sells it for gum.

Dentyne. Dentyne.
Dentyne Gum, Yum-yum, yum-yum.
Dentyne. Dentyne.
I'll never chew Dentyne again.

My stomach is in a commotion.
I'd better lean over the rail.
I'd hate to dirty the ocean.
Won't someone please bring me a pail!

(stop singing and recite)
Hasten, Jason.
Get the basin.
Whoops. Stop.
Get the mop.

From David Paktor

My Bonnie looked into a gas tank
The contents of it for to see.
I lit up a match to assist her.
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me....

Summer day camp, Essex County New Jersey, late 1950s

Do Your Ears Hang Low
From DeAnna Smith

Do your ears hang low,
do they wobble to and fro
can you tie em in a knot
can ya tie em in a bow
can you throw em over your shoulder
like a continental soldier
do your ears
hang
low
Indianapolis, IN 1990s

From M. Rimmer
Do your ears hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you toss them over your shoulder
Like a continental soldier?
Do your ears hang low?

Then YT sang me a verse I hadn't heard before:

Do your ears hang high?
Do they reach up to the sky?
Do they crinkle when it's wet?
Do they straighten when it's dry?
Can you wave them at your neighbour
With a minimum of labour?
Do your ears hang high?

So we invented a couple more verses:

Do your ears stick sideways?
Do they block up people's driveways?
Do you always stop the traffic
When you go on public highways?
Do you take off like a kite
When the wind is at its height?
Do your ears stick sideways?

And:

Are your ears very small?
Can you hardly hear at all?
Do you keep on saying "Pardon?"
When you take a telephone call?
If you have a little cough
Do your spectacles fall off?
Are your ears very small?

Doo-Wah-Doo
From Scott Jacob Loehr

Doo-wah-doo-wha-duh-meeny,
Ex-i-meeny, sollo-meeny, doo-wah-doo-wah...
(I forgot the last line, but it ended with "Bee-bah-buh-not'n-dot'n pssssshhhhhh!")

anybody know the rest of this?

Irving, Texas, elementary school 1966-72

Down By The Bank
From DeAnna Smith

This was done when we were in a circle with hands over lapped and as a word was said the person would smack from right to left and it would keep going around until the end of the song and who ever got smacked on the last word was out, this would continue until there was only one person left. The song was as follows:
Down by the bank
with the hankey-pankey
where the bull frogs jump
from bank to bankey
with an
A
E
I
O
U
AND
SOME
TIMES
Y!

Indianapolis, IN, 1990s

From Kay Shapero

Now that I see this, I'm vaguely reminded of singing the following to part of "The Little Old Lady from Pasadena:
Down by the river of (or Way down yonder by) the Hankey Panky
Where the bullfrogs jump from bank to bankey

I'm pretty sure I heard it up at Angeles Crest Christian Camp (up in the Angeles National Forest just outside of Los Angeles, CA), during my middle school years which puts it in the mid '60s.

From Rachel Shuman

down by the banks of the Hanky Panky
where the bullfrogs jumped from bank to banky
with a hip hop ho hum jump in the river with a ker-plop one two three four

Dunderbeck
from Amy Ford

Oh Dunderbeck, oh Dunderbeck, how could you be so mean
To ever have invented the sausage meat machine?
Now now all the neighbors cats and dogs will never more be seen,
They've all be ground to sausage meat in Dunderbeck's machine

There was a man from Briarpeck, his name was Dunderbeck
He made the greatest sausages and sauerkrat by heck
He made the greatest sausages that were ever seen
Until one day he invented the Sausage-Make Machine

Oh Dunderbeck, oh Dunderbeck, how could you be so mean
To ever have invented the sausage meat machine?
Now now all the neighbors cats and dogs will never more be seen,
They've all be ground to sausage meat in Dunderbeck's machine

One day a little fat boy came walking in the store.
He bought a pound of sausage and laid them on the floor.
Then he began to whistle, he whistled up a tune,
And soon the little sausages were dancing 'round the moon

Oh Dunderbeck, oh Dunderbeck, how could you be so mean
To ever have invented the sausage meat machine?
Now now all the neighbors cats and dogs will never more be seen,
They've all be ground to sausage meat in Dunderbeck's machine

One day the machine got busted, the darn thing wouldn't go,
So Dunderbeck, he crawled inside to see what made it jerk.
His wife, she had a nightmare, she was walking in her sleep
She gave a crank a wickety-wank, and Dunderbeck was meat.

Oh Dunderbeck, oh Dunderbeck, how could you be so mean
To ever have invented the sausage meat machine?
Now now all the neighbors cats and dogs will never more be seen,
They've all be ground to sausage meat in Dunderbeck's machine

So..... If you have some cats and dogs you better keep them locked
'Cause if you don't, I'm warning you you're in for one big shock
If ever you eat some sausage meat from Dunderbeck right now
You'll hear the little sausages meow and bow-wow-wow

Oh Dunderbeck, oh Dunderbeck, how could you be so mean
To ever have invented the sausage meat machine?
Now now all the neighbors cats and dogs will never more be seen,
They've all be ground to sausage meat in Dunderbeck's machine

from Kay Shapero

We used to sing a shorter version of that one as "Johnnery Beck" in my Y group, here's what it sounded like in my end of LA in the late 1950s.

In the town where I was born there lived a mean old man
His name was Mister Johnnery Beck and he could surely plan
There were a lot of cats and dogs and ringtailed rats a few
But Johnnery Beck he made a machine that ground them all to stew!

Oh Mister Johnnery Beck how could you be so mean?
We told you you'd be sorry you invented that machine
Now all the neighbors cats and dogs will nevermore be seen
They'll all be ground to sausages in Johnnery Beck's machine.

One day a boy went walking, a walking to the store
He bought a pound of sausages and laid them on the floor
Then he began to whistle, he whistled up a tune
And all the little sausages went dancing around the room.

Oh Mister Johnnery Beck how could you be so mean?
We told you you'd be sorry you invented that machine
Now all the neighbors cats and dogs will nevermore be seen
They'll all be ground to sausages in Johnnery Beck's machine.

One day the darn thing busted, the darn thing wouldn't go
So Johnnery Beck he climbed inside to see what made it so
His wife, she had a nightmare a walking in her sleep
She gave the thing A HECK OF A YANK! And Johnnery Beck was meat!

Oh Mister Johnnery Beck how could you be so mean?
We told you you'd be sorry you invented that machine
Now all the neighbors cats and dogs will nevermore be seen
They'll all be ground to sausages in Johnnery Beck's, in Johnnery Beck's, in Johnnery Beck's machine!

from Kathleen Fuller

Once there was a butcher,
His name was Johnny Verbeck.
He made the finest sausages
And sauerkraut in Spek.
He made the finest sausages
That ever had been seen,
'Till one day he invented
The wonderful sausage machine.

CH Oh, Mr. Johnny Verbeck,
How could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for
Inventing that machine.
Now all the neighbors' cats and dogs
Will nevermore be seen
For they've all been ground to sausages
In Johnny Verbeck's machine.

One day the machine got busted,
The damned thing wouldn't go,
So Johnny Verbeck, he crawled inside
To see what made it so.
His wife she had a nightmare,
Went walking in her sleep.
She gave the crank a terrible yank,
And Johnny Verbeck was meat!

CH

(around 1986 or so)

Some variant verses from a version contributed by Frank McCoy who also sent sheet music! (I've left out the ones that are essentially repeats of some of the above)

There was a little Dutchman, his name was Johnne Ver Beck.
He was a dealer in sausages, and sauerkraut and speck.
He had a great big butcher-shop, the finest ever seen.
One day he invented a sausage-meat machine.

One day a little Dutch boy came a-walking in the store.
He bought a pound of sausages and laid them on the floor.
And while he was a-waiting, he whistled up a tune;
and all the little sausages went dancing round the room.

More names for Our Villian, contributed by Frank McCoy from his collection.

Jonifer-Beck, Johhny Robeck, Johnne Ver Beck, Johnny Rebec, Johnny Vorbeck

Someplace in Oregon. Probably within a 50 mile radius of Portland. Back around 1952-1954

From Eric Van
Johnny Verbeck

There was a young Dutchman,
His name was Johnny verBeck
He was a fine dealer in sausages and speck.
One day he invented a sausages machine,
And all the neighbor's cats and dogs would never more be seen.

Oh, Johnny verBeck, Oh, Johnny verBeck,
How could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine.
Now all the neighbor's cats and dogs will never more be seen.
They'll all be ground to sausages in Johnny verBeck's machine.

One day the machine got out of fix,
The darn thing wouldn't go.
So, Johnny verBeck he crawled inside to see what made it so.
Mrs. VerBeck had a nightmare, was walking in her sleep.
She gave the crank a deuce of a yahk
And Johnny verBeck was meat.

Oh, Johnny verBeck, Oh, Johnny verBeck,
How could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine.
Now all the neighbor's cats and dogs will never more be seen.
They'll all be ground to sausages in Johnny verBeck's machine.

Sung by Ella A. Rawlings to her grandchildren.

End Of The Year
From Caitlin Smith

(yell the last three words)

no more pencils, no more books
no more teacher's dirty looks
when the principal rings the bell
we'll drop our books and RUN LIKE HELL

From Joe Raftery
as sung in Dublin, (Ireland) mid 60's No more Latin, No more French
No More sitting on the old school bench
Kick up tables, Kick up chairs
Kick old (least favourite teacher) down the stairs.

Fight Song
From Pete Granzeau

Beer, beer, for old BHS [obviously, your school's initials go here],
You bring the whiskey, I'll bring the rest,
Send the freshmen out for gin,
Don't let a sober sophomore in!
We never stagger, we never fall,
We sober up on wood alcohol,
As our loyal faculty lies out on the barroom floor.
[alternatively: goes back to the bar for more.]

From Mary Creasey
...for [Inglewood] High/ You bring the whiskey, I'll bring the
rye....faculty/ Lies drunk in the study hall."

From Kay Shapero (heard this one from my college roommate, Nancy Klauschie)

Beer, Beer for William Neff High.
You bring the whisky I'll bring the wine.
Send a freshman out for gin.
And don't let a sober softmore in.
Juniors will stagger, seniors will fall.
We'll sober up on wood alcohol.
All the loyal faculty lie drunk on the Girl's Gym Floor.

frequently followed by "Give a Cheer, Give a Cheer to the boys who brew the beer in the cellars of William Neff High." tto the Caison Song

from Joe Ellis

Beer, beer for dear old Wayne High!
You bring the whiskey, I'll bring the rye.
Send the freshmen out for gin
and don't let a sober sophomore in!

We never stagger, we never fall,
We sober up on wood alcohol!
While the loyal Faculty
Lies drunk in the study hall.

From Betty Nola (courtesy her brother)

Cheer, cheer for old Newport High,
You bring the whiskey, I'll bring the rye,
Send a sophomore out for gin,
Don't let no puny freshmen in,
We never stumble, we never fall,
We sober up on wood alcohol,
While the loyal faculty lie drunk in the study hall.

High School Beer Drinking Song
From Judy Barack, formerly of Sheboygan, Wisconsin,
As heard from my sister, Sylvia Barack Fishman

Three cheers for North High
Best in the land,
We know you'll win,
You really are grand.
Send a freshman out for gin,
Don't let a sober sophomore in.
We never stagger, we never fall.
We sober up on wood alcohol,
While our loyal faculty
Lies drunk on the barroom floor.

The Five Constipated Men
Contributed by Sean J. Cleary, with an assist from Leslie Fish

There were five! five! constipated men in the Bible, in the Bible,
There were five! five! constipated men in the five books of Moses.

The first! first! constipated man was Cain, he was not able (Abel) x2
The second! second! constipated man was Joshua, he blew the walls down. x2
The third! third! constipated man was Moses, he took two tablets. x2
The fourth! fourth! constipated man was Samson, he brought the house down. x2
The fifth! fifth! constipated man was Noah, was Noah
for 40 days and 40 nights he passed only water.

A variant in the Digital Trad as sung by Carli Gewertz gives a partially different set, replacing Joshua and Noah with Baalam (he couldn't move his ass) and Solomon (he sat for forty years) and even adds a sixth - Titus (nuff said). Rather more folksong, than strictly kid folksong, but what the heck!

Found A Peanut
From Caitlin Shaw

found a peanut, found a peanut, found a peanut last night
last night i found a peanut, found a peanut last night

broke it open, broke it open, broke it open last night
last night i broke it open, broke it open last night

it was rotten...
ate it anyway...
got a tummyache...

had n'operation, operation, operation last night
last night had n'operation, operation last night
(it will scan, if you try hard enough)

died anyway...
went to heaven...
wouldn't take me...
went the other way...
wouldn't take me...
back to earth...

found a peanut, found a peanut, found a peanut this morn'
this morn' i found a peanut, found a peanut this morn'

From Kay Shapero

Found a peanut, found a peanut, found a peanut just now
Found a peanut, found a peanut, found a peanut just now

Cracked it open...
It was rotten...
Ate it anyway...
Got sick...
Called the doctor...
He said I wouldn't die...
Died anyway...
Went to Heaven...
Wouldn't let me in...
Went the other way...
Wouldn't let me in either...
Came to life again...
Found a peanut...

It was rotten, it was rotten, it was rotten just now.
It was rotten, it was rotten, it was rotten just now...
(spoken) So I THREW IT AWAY!

From Kreme

broke it open
it was rotten
ate (pronounce "et") it anyway
got a tummyache
saw the doctor
operation
died anyway
went to heaven
wouldn't take me
went the other way
met the devil
etc etc... the point was to stump someone "out"

From Margaret Middleton

In the version MY summercamp used, the narrator, after coming back to earth...

Got a job
Selling peanuts

And I think (s)he "got my stummick pumped" instead of having an operation when taken to the hospital.

From Malissa Ackerman

Our version of "Found a Peanut" had 'pendicitis after the dr. line then,after back to earth, got a job, cleaning gutters, found a peanut, cracked it open, it was rotten, threw it away. (or if we were really obnoxious we started back at the beginning after the cleaning gutters.)

Central Ohio, 80s though version dates at least back to the '60s.

From Tim Lupton

Found a peanut,
Found a peanut,
Found a peanut, last night,
Last night, I found a peanut,
Found a peanut, last night

cracked it open...
it was rotten...
ate it anyway...
got a tummyache...
phoned the doctor...
died anyway...
woke up screaming...
was hungry...
found a peanut...

Then you keep on singing from the begining until your parents want to kill you!

Toronto, Ontario in 1966 Click here for even more verses.... (My thanks to Tim Lupton for sending the url)

Froggy
-collected by Laura Ross

Dog!
Dog cat!
Dog cat moose!
Froggy!

Itty bitty teeny weeny little green froggy!
Jump, jump, jump little froggy!
Spiders and flies are scrump delicious!
Ribbit! Ribbit!
Ribbit! Ribbit!
Ribbit! Ribbit!
Croak!

From The Halls
From the halls of Montezuma
To the shores of Tripoli
We will fight our teacher's battle
With scissors paste and glue (don't ask me why it doesn't rhyme)
First to fight for rights and reasons
And to keep our desks a mess
We are proud to claim the title
Of the teacher's greatest pest
--Dr Pepper

from Kay Shapero

The grade school I went to had a slightly different version:

From the halls of 54th St.
To the shores of Malibu
We will fight our teacher battle
And break the golden rule
We will fight for right and freedom
And to keep our desks a mess
We are proud to claim the title
Of the Teacher's Little Pests.

Ran heavily to slant rhymes, but what the heck!

Also from Kay Shapero

"From the halls of Montezuma
To the shores of Tripoli
We will knock out all the teachers
And throw them in the sea.
We will shoot down all the principals
And throw them in a lake.
Tomorrow we will bring to school
A great big rattlesnake!"

(I can't be sure now, but it's distinctly possible I wrote that last myself - I started filking long before I ever heard the word.)

(both the above, Los Angeles, late '50s) From J. M. A. Guthrie

From the Halls of Montezuma
To the shores of PTA
We will fight our teacher battle
With spit-balls and with clay
We will fight for mo-ore re-ecess
And to keep our desks a mess (a big mess)
We are proud to claim the title
Of the Teacher's Little Pests.

From the halls of our dear old school
To the science and the math-room
I tripped and lost my ( I forget ) books
On the wa-ay to the bathroom
And my paper fell into the sink
And I saw a pretty slush
So I turned the ho-ot water on
And down the drain it flushed!

From Scott Jacob Loehr

From the halls of ____________ (insert your grade school here; mine was "Brandenburg")
To the shores of Bubble Gum Bay,
We will fight our classroom battles
With spitwads made of clay.
We will fight for lunch and recess
And to keep our desk a mess
We are proud to claim the title
Of Teacher's Little Pests!

Irving, Texas, elementary school 1966-1972.

Gallo
-contributed by Ken Ryesky
Tune: "Jimmy Crack Corn" (Gallo was running an ad campaign using "Gallo makes wine with loving care" to this tune at the time.)

Gallo makes wine with underwear,
Gallo makes wine with underwear,

From David Paktor

Gallo makes wine with wonderful flavor
Gallo makes wine with underpaid labor

Generic Camp Song
From Caitlin Shaw

(substitute any camp/school name for "road's end farm")
(this is one of those infinitely expandable songs, whose verses are only limited by boredom and imagination)

verse:
oh the // at road's end farm, they say it's [they're] mighty fine,
but // // //, / // //ine!

eg:
oh the buses at road's end farm, they say they're mightly fine
but when they turn the corners, they leave the wheels behind!

oh the bug juice at road's end farm, they say it's mighty fine,
but if you go and drink it, it tastes like turpentine!

chorus:
oh i don't wanna go to road's end farm
gee mom, i wanna go
back where the toilets flow (variation: but they won't let me go)
gee mom, i wanna go ho-o-ome

From Stephanie

The counselors that they give you, they say they're mighty fine
But when they take their makeup off they look like Frankenstein!

The bagels that they give you, they say they're mighty fine
But one rolled off the table, and killed a friend of mine!

The spaghetti that they give you, they say it's mighty fine
But they flush it down the toilet and hang it on the line!

The toilets that they give you, they say they're mighty fine
But when you sit upon the seat they suck off your behind!

Also the verse about the buses - instead of the wheels getting left behind, they said "kids" instead of "wheels".

New Hampshire, 1999 or so

Comment from Kay - Around here it was:

The counselors we have here, they say are mighty fine
They walk around like Hitler and look like Frankenstein!

Los Angeles, '60s

Ginger Ale
From Steve Kane

Ginger ale, ginger ale 5 cents a glass
if you don't like it you can shove it up your...

From Brooklyn in the early 1940's

God Bless My Underwear
-collected by Joe Bethancourt
Tune: "God Bless America"

God bless my underwear, the only pair I wear!

(this is only a fragment....does anyone have the rest of it?)

From Bruce Holloway:

God bless my underwear, my only pair,
from the washer, to the dryer...

From Enid Y. Karr

God bless my underwear/
My only pair/
Stand beside them/
And guide them/
Through the holes and the rips and the tears/

From Mitch Marmel

From the washer, to the dryer, to the clothesline, back to meeeee...
God bless my underwear, my on-ly pair...
God- bless- my- underwear- MY ONNNNNNLYYYYY PAAAAAAAIR!!

From Larry D. Kirby

God bless my underwear
They are my only pair
Stand beside them, and guide them
Through the holes and the rips and the tears
Though I was them, every day
Those little brown stains, won't go away
God bless my underwear, my only pair
God bless my underwear, my only pair

From Betty Nola

God bless my underwear,
It was my only pair,
I wore them,
And tore them,
In the seat of the old rocking chair.

From Newport, KY in the late 50's

Great Green Gobs
From Anastasia Silver

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts
Simulated monkey muck, (or feet, I can't recall)
Chopped up baby parakeet -
French-fried eyeballs swimming in a pool of blood,
And I forgot my spoon!
(in an undertone, with that little musical chord that gets tacked
onto all the Pops-type tunes)
But they had straws. . .

From Harry Smothers

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutiliated monkey meat
Insulated pigs' feet
French-fried eyeballs toasted in a pool of blood --
Oops, I forgot my spoon!

From Kihe Blackeagle

Great Big Gobs of Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts,
Mutilated Monkey Meat,
Dirty Little Birdie's Feet,
Great Big Gobs of Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts:
And I forgot my spoon!
(contra-voice response:) ...but I've got a straw....

From Mitch Marmel

Great Big Gobs of Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts
Marinated Monkey Meat
Chopped-up Baby Parakeet
(missing lines, leading up to something about Mulligan Stew)
I forgot my spoon...
Better use a straw...

From Pete Granzeau

Great gooey grisly gobs of greasy grimy gopher meat,
Marinated monkey feet, Chopped-up baby parakeet,
Put 'em in a pot to stew and turn up all the heat,
And me without a spoon!
(But they have straws....)

Of course, if you really like the wonderfully alliterative first line, try this:

Great gooey grisly gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Marinated monkey nuts, amputated birdie butts,
Put 'em in a pot to stew with various cold cuts,
(etc.)

From Jennie Heston

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
umptimated monkey meat,
concentrated birdies feet,
eight whole cans of all purpose porpoise pus,
and you forgot the spoon... It's almost noon!

And an alternate version written by Eugene Marksworth

Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts,
Seventy day-old monkey muck,
Dried up inchworms in a stew,
Snail shells enough for two,
Anchovies sitting in a pile of grease,
I forgot my spoon!
(Better use a straw...)

Version created by Joey McKangaroo.. as a kid.

Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts,
Simulated Monkey Muck,
Fruit Flies and Feta Cheese,
Crushed Snail Shells to Please,
French worms on a Sourdough Roll,
I don't have a spoon!
(Better pick straws...)

See how you like THAT! (Bleeah...)

[if this is copyright I WILL be surprised. Oh, Joey...]

more from Joey McKangaroo

Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts
Stale moldy monkey muck,
Frank and Joe, the pig is stuck,
Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts,
Gee, I forgot my spoon!
(Better pick straws...)

From Susan Russell

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little dirty birdy feet.
French fried eyeballs
Swimming in a bowl of blood
And I forgot my spoon!

(different voice--"but I brought my straw")

From Paul Bowers

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts, mutilated
monkey meat, dirty little pigeon's feet.
All mixed up with a pile of poison possum pus, and me without
my spoon.
And me without my spoon; and me without spoon.
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts, and me without
my spoon. [We'll use a straw!]

From David Guin

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Itsy bitsy birdie feet,
All ground up with Aunt Jemimah's pancake mix,
And I forgot my spoon!

From Tracy Foxcroft

Great big globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mangulated monkey meat
Dainty little piggies feet.
All mixed up with violated vulture vomit
Eat it, without a spoon (it's just delicious)
Eat it without a spoon (it's so nutricious)
Eat it without a spoon (YUM!)

From Kreme

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
masticated monkey meat # This is how I learned "masticated"as an 8 year old
chopped up birdie feet...

From Tim O'Keefe

I've always heard:

"...french fried eyeballs slidin' down the toilet seat..."

which is kinda cool 'cause it rhymes with the conventional "mutilated monkey meat/little dirty birdie feet" lines...

From Margaret Middleton

in my memory, the "French-fried eyeballs" are soaked in gasoline

From Carla De Hoyos

French fried eye balls rolling down a dirty street- oops there goes my spoon but I got a straw (slurping sound) UMMMM!

From Paul Svirbely

Great green gobs of greasy, grimy, gopher guts, lying in the middle of the road

(Cincinnati, Ohio, late 1950's)

From Rocco Paluch

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gophers guts,
Mutilated Monkey meat,
Dirty little birdies feet,
Here we are in line for our daily meal,
and me without a spoon.

Great big barrels of bubbling, boiling boar barf
Chopped Up Fly Gizzard,
Freeze dried puke lizzard.
Here we are in line for our daily meal,
and me without a spoon.

From Frank (who didn't give me his last name)

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Bloody little birdie feet
All wrapped up in all purpose porpoise pus
And I forgot my spoon

Contributed by Brian Gedcke

Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Even little birdies feet.
Pounds and pound of pukey, purple porpoise puss,
And I forgot my spoon, I brought a straw - Slurp!

From Julie Hamner

They're serving...
Sixteen pounds of mutilated monkey meat
Greasy grimy gopher guts
Buttered baby birdie butts
French-fired eyeballs sitting in a pile of worms
And me without my spoon..
But I brought my straw.

From Brent B

Great green gobs of
Greasy grimy gopher guts
Masticated monkey meat
Little dirty piggy feet
French fried eyeballs
Swimming in a pool of blood
And I forgot my spoon

Southern California, '70s

From Miranda White

Great Green Gobs of gooey gummy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little tiny birdie feet
All fried up with crusty chunks of pelican poop
And i dont have a spoon!
"I have a straaww"( this is sang in a higher tone of voice)

From Ron McKenzie

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Frogs a-puking in the street

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
..eat 'em without a spoon.

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Dirty little birdies feet
Rotten turtles by the heap

Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
..eat 'em without a spoon.

circa 1940s - early 1950s Norfolk Nebraska

From Ilana Van Veen, who learned it with something extra at the beginning and end.

Yankee Doodle went to town
Riding on a gopher
Ran into a garbage can
And this is what fell over

Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little dirty birdy feet
French fried eyeballs frying in a frying pan
Oops, I forgot my spoon


So they gave me a...

Scam sandwich, puss on top
Monkey vomet and camel snot
Elephants' eyeballs cut in two
Eat it because it's good for you
With Vitamin C and protein too
All wrapped up in doggie doo

P.U.!
Achoo!
Bless you
Thank you
You're welcome

late 80's-early 90's in central New Jersey

From George Brown

"Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Dirty little birdies feet
French fried eyeballs rolling down the dirty street
ooops I forgot my spoon
So they gave horse meat
Sugar on top
Elephant vomit
Milk and snot
So the next time you forget to bring your spooooon (hold the note)
bring a straw."

Glen Ridge NJ, in the 80's

From Steve Lamont

Great Big Gobs if greasy grimy gopher guts
mutilated monkey meat
perculated birdies feet
eye balls rolling down the street
and I forgot my spoon

Southern Ontario, Canada not sure when

From Peter Mork

(a final couplet that went)
One full quart of all-purpose porpoise pus
Floatin' in pink lemonade

Massachusetts, 1960s

From Chuck Wilson

Great big gobs of greasy grimy golfer guts,
Marinated monkey meat, birdies little bloody feet,
And me without a spoon.

Illinois, 1959

From David Paktor

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
mutilated monkey meat,
constipated birdies feet,
eight great cans of all purpose porpoise pus,
and I forgot my spoon! (I'll use a straw...)

Summer day camp, Essex County New Jersey, late 1950s