| Children's Songs Part Four |
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| The Carnival King |
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-contributed by Laura Ross Oh, the carnival king with the big nose ring Fell in love with the husky mai-ai-aid* And every night by the pale moonlight Across the lake she's wa-a-ade He'd hug and kiss her, that pretty little miss In the shade of the bamboo tree-ee-ee And every night by the pale moonlight It sounded like this to me-e-e A root (kiss! kiss!) A root! (kiss! kiss!) A root diddy ah de ay-ay-ay A root! (kiss! kiss!) A root! (kiss! kiss!) A root diddy ah de ay-ay-ay! (refrain) Build me a bungalo big enough for two Big enough for two, my honey, big enough for two And then when we're married, happy we'll be Underneath the bamboo -- Underneath the bamboo tree Boom, boom! Boom, boom! Boom boom, boom boom, boom boom! If you'll be M-I-N-E mine I'll be T-H-I-N-E thine I'll L-O-V-E love you All of the T-I-M-E time You are the B-E-S-T best Of all the R-E-S-T rest I'll L-O-V-E love you All of the T-I-M-E time Rack 'em up, stack 'em Any ol' time! Match in the gas tank! Boom boom! (refrain) If you'll W-A-L-K walk me Through the P-A-R-K park I'll K-I-S-S kiss you in the D-A-R-K dark You are the B-E-S-T best Of all the R-E-S-T rest I'll L-O-V-E love you all of T-I-M-E time Rack 'em up, stack 'em up Any ol' time! Match in the gas tank! Boom boom! * My mom used to know the version "The cannibal king with the big nose ring/Fell in love with the dusty old maid" |
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| The Closing Of The School |
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Contributed (and composed) by Terence Chua "One of my very first parodies, in Secondary Two (8th Grade), commemorating the odd policy that year of only releasing the mid-year examination results *after* the term holidays (we were used to knowing our fates before going off for a month in June) was to the Battle Hymn of the Republic:" Mine eyes have seen the glory Of the closing of the school The teachers are all leaving The exams are finally through The results'll come out next term So we pray that they are good Let's pray our marks are good! Glory, glory to the teachers Let's just hope they please our parents "Bad marks," they're sure to say, "You'll kiss your birthday cash away!" Let's pray our marks are good! And so forth. I was 14. Gimme a break. :-) |
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| The Coming Of... |
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Contributed by Eloise Beltz-Decker Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord He was cruisin' down the alley in a pink and yellow Ford. One hand was on the throttle, and the other on a bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer! Refrain went something like: Glory, Glory, what's it to ya? Glory, Glory, what's it to ya? |
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| The Deacon Went Down |
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Contributed by Pete Granzeau (last line and chorus from Joe Bethancourt) Oh, the Deacon went down (repeat) To the cellar to pray (repeat) But he got drunk (repeat) And he stayed all day (repeat) (repeat verse, double time) (last line, also double time) Gonna grieve my Lord no more chorus: Ain't gonna grieve my Lord no more (6X) Two other verses from Joe Bethancourt Oh you can't get to Heaven In a Rocking chair 'cause the Lord don't 'low no lazybones there! Oh you can't get to Heaven On rollerskates 'Cause you'll roll right past Them pearly gates! And another verse from Kihe Blackeagle Oh you can't get to Heaven In John B.'s shoes 'cause the Lord don't 'low such big canoes! and a few verses from Lucy Kennedy Oh you'll never get to heaven (repeat) In an old Ford car (repeat) 'cos an old Ford car (rep) Won't get that far (rep) (repeat each line double time) I ain't gonna grieeeeeeeeve My Lord no more I ain't gonna grieve my Lord (rep) I ain't gonna grieeeeeeeeeeve My Lord no more. Oh you'll never get to heaven On a boy scout's knee 'cos a boy scout's knee 's too knobb-er-ly! ... In a biscuit tin Cos the Lord don't let no crumblies in! ... In a baked bean tin Cos a baked bean tin 's got baked beans in! Brownie & Girl Guides, South London, 1991-1995 My (Pete's) kids, 20 years ago, also had a version several verses long about taking a walk in the woods, meeting a bear, jumping for a tree limb, and missing it. The last verse was Now don't you fret and don't you frown, 'cause I caught that branch on the way back down! Caitlin Shaw remembered it as follows: |
| The Bear |
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(call and response, then repeat each verse as a chorus) leader: the other day (the other day) leader: i saw a bear (i saw a bear) leader: a great big bear (a great big bear) leader: oh way up there (oh way up there) all: the other day i saw a bear a great big bear oh way up there he looked at me i looked at him he sized up me i sized up him he said to me "why don't you run? i see you ain't got any gun" and so i ran away from there and right behind me was that bear ahead of me there was a tree a great big tree oh lucky me (there might be another verse here) and so i jumped into the air and missed that branch oh way up there now don't you fret and don't you frown i caught that branch on the way back down the moral of my story is don't talk to bears in tennis shiz (rhyme "shoes" with "is") And as recalled by Nancy MacDonald (in Canada) (call and response, then repeat each verse as a chorus) leader: the other day (the other day) leader: i saw a bear (i saw a bear) leader: a great big bear (a great big bear) leader: oh way up there (oh way up there) all: the other day i saw a bear a great big bear oh way up there he looked at me i looked at him he sized up me i sized up him he said to me "why don't you run? i see you ain't got any gun" and so i ran away from there and right behind me was that bear ahead of me there was a tree a great big tree oh lucky me (oh deary me) (there might be another verse here) and so there is.(g) (the nearest branch) (was 10 feet up) (I'd have to jump) (and trust my luck) and so i jumped into the air and missed that branch oh way up there now don't you fret and don't you frown i caught that branch on the way back down (that's all, that's all,) (there ain't no more) (unless I meet) (that bear once more) the moral of my story is don't talk to bears in tennis shiz (rhyme "shoes" with "is") |
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| The Dirty Water Company |
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From Mitch Marmel (to the tune of "The Electric Company" theme:) We're gonna turn it on We're gonna turn on the show-er Gonna break up the tub So that you can see To eternity... Goddammit, I missed! Just look where I pissed! It's terrible to see! The Dirty Water Company! The above was written by elements of my fourth grade class (circa 1974 or so) when we took swimming lessons at the old Fairmount Park Waterworks in Philadelphia. The changing area was rather grungy, you see... |
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| The Hearse Song |
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From Susan Russell Never laugh when a hearse goes by Cause you could be the next to die. They wrap you up in a big white sheet And bury you down about six feet deep. Then the worms crawl in and the worms crawl out And the worms play pinochle on your snout. They eat your eyes and they eat your nose. They eat the junk in between your toes. (I think there was more to this one, but can't remember right now) From Kay Shapero Whenever you see a hearse go by. You know that you are the next to die. First you're sick and then you're worse And then they put you in a hearse. They wrap you up in a bloody sheet, And drop you down about fifty feet. The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, The worms play pinochle on your snout, They eat your eyes, they eat your nose, They eat the jelly between your toes. And then you turn a perty green, And pus comes out like shaving cream, They wrap it up in moldy bread. And that's your supper when you are dead! From Michael Fink Did you ever think when a hearse goes by That you might be the next to die They wrap you up in a great white sheet And drop you down about six feet deep All goes well for about a week Then your coffin begins to leak The worms crawl in The worms crawl out The worms play pinochle on your snout Now there's one little worm He's not so shy He's up your nose and out your eye Your stomach turns to slimy green And pus runs out like whipped up cream You slop it up on moldy bread And that's what you eat when you are dead From DABaker (or Alvin Schwartz?) |
| THE HEARSE SONG |
| By Alvin Schwartz Don't you laugh when a hearse goes by, For you may be the next to die. They wrap you up in a big white sheet From your head down to your feet. They put you in a big black box, And cover you up with dirt and rocks All goes well for about a week. And then your coffin begins to leak. The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out The worms play pinochle on your snout. They eat your eyes, they eat your nose, They eat the jelly between your toes. A big green worm with rolling eyes Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes. Your stomach turns a slimy green, And pus pours out like whipping cream. You spread it on a slice of bread, And that's what you eat when you are dead. |
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| The Littlest Worm |
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Words: traditional camp song Tune: "Sipping Cider Through a Straw" Contributed by Susan Grant The littlest worm (repeat) I ever saw (repeat) Got stuck inside (repeat) My soda straw (repeat) (Repeat the whole verse) From Kylie Avis The Littlest Worm Words: traditional camp song Tune: "Sipping Cider Through a Straw" Contributed by Kylie Alvis ( deajavu@aol com ) The cutest worm (repeat) I ever saw (repeat) was stuck inside (r) my soda straw (r) repeat all with no additional repeats He said to me (r) dont take a sip (r) for if you do (r) ill shurly slip (r) repeat no additional repeats i took a sip (r) that work went down (r) down in my pipes (r) he musta drown (r) repeat yadda yadda yadda ( slowly and saddly ) he was my friend (r) he was my pal (r) (happy) but he aint no more (r) this is the end (r) repeat yadda yadda yadd From "Sillygirl" the littlest worm (repeat) i ever saw (repeat) was stuck inside (repeat) my soda straw (repeat) he said to me (repeat) don't take a sip (repeat) cause if you do (repeat) you'll really flip (repeat) i took a sip (repeat) and he went down (repeat) right through my pipes (repeat) he must have drowned (repeat) i coughed him up (repeat) and he was dead (repeat) so i buried him (repeat) in my mothers bed (repeat) |
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| The Old Grey Mare |
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The Old Grey Mare she went to the county fair Sat in the electric chair burned off her underwear --Dr Pepper |
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| The Titanic |
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contributed by Tim Lupton OK, this one was almost certainly written by an adult, but generations of kids have made it their own, and the bit at the end of this version strikes me as pure kidlore. As you'll see if you do a websearch, there are many, many versions of this about - this site has what may be the earliest. Well, they built the old titanic To sail the ocean blue When they thought they had a ship that the water couldn't go through But the good lord raised his hand Said the ship would never land It was sad when the gray ship went down! Oh, it was sad, boo hoo Oh, it was sad, boo hoo It was sad when the gray ship went down To the bottom of the (seeeeeeeeeeeeeea) ( Sing "Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" Fathers and wives, little children lost their lives (-- While others sing this part It was sad when the gray ship went down (- Everybody! They were near the other shore When they heard a mighty roar And the rich refused to associate with the poor So they put them down below Where they were the first to go* It was sad when the gray ship went down Oh it was sad, boo hoo Oh it was sad, boo hoo It was sad when the gray ship went down To the bottom of the seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea (Some kids would yell: The captain rang the bell, and the counsellors went to hell) It was sad when the gray ship went down Boo hoo it sunk! What a lousy piece of junk! P U It STUNK! * "They" presumably being the poor, since the rich got the lifeboats... From David Paktor Well, they built the ship titanic To sail the ocean blue And they thought they had a ship that the sea would never go through But t'was on her maiden trip That an iceberg hit the ship Oh, it was sa-ad when the grea-eat ship went down! Oh, it was sa-ad, (so sad) Oh, it was sa-ad, (so sad) It was sad when the grea-eat ship went down (To the bottom of the .. ) Uncles and aunts, little bitty children lost their pa'(re)nts It was sa-ad when the grea-eat ship went down . . . Oh, they built another ship And they called her Mary-Lou And her bow was painted pink and her stern was painted blue And they christened her with beer and she sank right off the pier, It was sa-ad when the grea-eat ship went down ... |
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| The Weenie Man |
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-collected by Laura Ross
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| There Goes... |
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Contributed by Raylene Fokeri(?) There goes (insert name) floating down the Deleware Chewin' on his/her underwear Couldn't find another pair Six days later eaten by a polar bear Poor old polar bear! |
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| This Land Is My Land |
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From Caitlin Shaw this land is my land, this land ain't your land i've got a shotgun and you don't got one if you don't get off, i'll blow your he-ead off this land was made for me not you From Marisa "Mayonnaise" Jane G. This land is my land, it isn’t your land, Cause I got a shotgun, and you ain’t got one, So ya better get off, ‘fore I blow your head off, This land was made for only me! Upstate NY, in the Early 90’s. |
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| Three Little Angels |
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-collected by Laura Ross Three little angels all dressed in white Tried to get to heaven on the end of a kite But the kite broke and down they all fell Instead of going to heaven, they all went to -- Two little angels all dressed in white Tried to get to heaven on the end of a kite But the kite broke and down they all fell Instead of going to heaven, they all went to -- One little angel all dressed in white Tried to get to heaven on the end of a kite But the kite broke and down they all fell Instead of going to heaven, they all went to -- Three little devils all dressed in red Tried to get to heaven on the end of a thread But the thread broke and down they all fell Instead of going to heaven, they all went to -- Two little devils all dressed in red Tried to get to heaven on the end of a thread But the thread broke and down they all fell Instead of going to heaven, they all went to -- One little devil all dressed in red Tried to get to heaven on the end of a thread But the thread broke and down they all fell Instead of going to heaven, they all went to -- Three little martians all dressed in green Tried to get to heaven on the end of a string But the string broke and down they all fell Instead of going to heaven, they all went to -- Two little martians all dressed in green Tried to get to heaven on the end of a string But the string broke and down they all fell Instead of going to heaven, they all went to -- One little martian all dressed in green Tried to get to heaven on the end of a string But the string broke and down they all fell Instead of going to heaven, they all went to -- Don't get excited, don't lose your head Instead of going to heaven, they all went to bed from Kay Shapero We sang this one with the last line of each being: One went to heaven, the other(s) went ...well.. We also had a chorus which may have migrated in from a different song with the same tune: On the Tumbleweed Line, on the Tumbleweed Line Rain or shine I'll pay my fine Rain or shine I'll pay my fine To ride ride ride, on the Tumbleweed Line! Los Angeles, early 1960s |
| Three Little Girls |
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From Peter Mork (This was called The Dummy Line where I came from.) (chorus)On the Dummy Line, on the Dummy Line Rain or shine I'll pay my fine Rain or shine I'll pay my fine Ride, ride, ridin' on the Dummy Line Three little girls all dressed in white Tried to get to heaven on the tail of a kite The kite tail broke and down they fell They didn't get to heaven but they got to - (chorus) Bought a pair of combination underwear To keep out the cold and the frizzle-y air Worn six months without irritation (this last word was stretched out) Couldn't get 'em off because I lost the combination (chorus) (There were also at least two verses that started "Little Willie, home from school", but I can't remember the rest. I think a stick of dynamite may have figured into one of them. Must ask my big brother.) Massachusetts, 1960s |
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| Tom the Toad |
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-contributed by Laura Ross Tune: "O Christmas Tree" O Tom the Toad O Tom the Toad Why are you lying in the road? O Tom the Toad O Tom the Toad Why are you lying in the road? You used to be so green and fat And now you are so red and flat O Tom the Toad O Tom the Toad Why are you lying in the road? O Possum Pete O Possum Pete There's nothing left but fur and feet O Possum Pete O Possum Pete There's nothing left but fur and feet You did not see the truck come by [Can't remember this line] O Possum Pete O Possum Pete There's nothing left but fur and feet |
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| The Twelve Days of Christmas |
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From Peter Mork On the first day of Christmas, Kruschev gave to me A five-hundred megaton bomb (All I remember.) Massachusetts, 1960s |
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| Twinkle, Twinkle |
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From Joel Polowin Scintillate, scintillate, globule orific Fain would I fathom thy nature specific Loftily poised in the ether capacious Strongly resembling a gem carbonaceous |
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| Up A Hill |
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From David Paktor Up a hill, down a ramp We have run away from camp, And the couns'lors are hot on our trail! Summer day camp, Essex County New Jersey, late 1950s |
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| We Must |
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(a chant that goes along with a special exercise) -collected by Laura Ross We must! We must! We must improve our bust! The bigger the better! The tighter the sweater The more the boys like us! |
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| We Three Kings |
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From Peter Mork We three kings of Orientar Tried to smoke a rubber cigar It was loaded, it exploded... (The song just ends there. "Orientar" was assumed to be a place name.) Massachusetts, 1960s From Kay Shapero We Three Kings of Orient Are Tried (or Trying) to smoke a big black (or fat) cigar It was loaded, it exploded Thowing us very far... (After which we'd just carry on ad lib; I don't think we sang it the same way twice.) Los Angeles, CA late '50s early '60s From Dana Nance We three kings of orient are trying to smoke a loaded cigar BANG We two kings of orient are trying to smoke a loaded cigar BANG We one kings of orient are trying to smoke a loaded cigar BANG OR… We three kings of orient are trying to light a loaded cigar BANG We two kings of orient are trying to light a loaded cigar BANG We one kings of orient are trying to light a loaded cigar BANG Malibu, CA circa 1967. |
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| When You're Hot |
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From Kit Peters When you're hot you're hot When you're not you're not But when you're sittin' on the pot You gotta give it all you got and eat your snot! Central Illinois, 1980s |
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| While Shepherds Washed |
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From Anastasia Silver Tune: While Shepherds Watched While shepherd washed their socks by night, All seated round the tub, An Angel of the Lord came down And lit up all the suds. (There were variations on this line.) "Fear not!", said he, for mighty dread Had scared their socks away. "Glad tidings of great joy I bring, New socks for you this day." |
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| Whistle |
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Words: traditional kids song Tune: Whistle While you Work... contributed by Joey McKangaroo Whistle While you work, 'Cause Hitler is a jerk, Mussolini bit his weenie (?!?!?!) Now it doesn't work! Addendum from Dave Aronson I heard it as "Hitler likes to jerk" ("off" being implied), and "Mussolini broke his weenie". From Steve Kane Hitler is a jerk Mussolini is a meanie and the Japs are worse. From Brooklyn in the early 1940's From Peter Mork Whistle while you work Stevenson's a jerk Eisenhower, fanny power Whistle while you work (A friend taught me this - by the time I learned it, it was stale - but still funny!) Massachusetts, 1960s (ok, probably '50s in this case) |
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| Winston |
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From Randall Stukey Winston tastes bad Like the last one I had No filter, no flavor Just a rotten piece of paper. some different last lines: From Rich Brown Tastes just like toilet paper. From Kay Shapero Just cotton-pickin' paper. |
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| Worms |
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From Smokey Layton Nobody loves me, everybody hates me I think I'll eat some worms Long tall skinny ones, Short fat dumpy ones, Itsy squishy, eenie meany worms. First you bite their heads off, Then you suck their guts down, Feel how they squirm First you bitr thier heads off, Then you suck their guts down, Itsy squishy, eenie meany worms! From Mitch Marmel Nobody likes me, everybody hates me Goin' down the back to eat worms Long red skinny ones Big fat juicy ones Wriggle in me tummy type worms I love the way they wiggle as they slide down me throat So much nicer than a turtle or a goat Oh, nobody likes me, everybody hates me Goin' down the back to eat worms Take your chicken Take your steak Buttered scones And ice-cream cake I'd much rather have worms... (repeat first verse) I love the way they wiggle as they slide down me throat So much nicer than a turtle or an all-i-ga-tor Nobody likes me, everybody hates me Goin' down the back to eat worms Goin' down the back to eat worms. Methinks, judging by the accent of the singer and the reference to "Goin' down the back," that this was an Australian ditty... |
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| Yellow Submarine |
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From Mitch Marmel We all live in a yellow submarine, A rotten tangerine, A can of Vaseline. I also recall miming along to the song "Yellow Submarine" and pretending to vomit at the point at the end of the bridge where the flushing sound effect plays... From Joe Raftery as sung in Dublin, (Ireland) mid 60's We all live in a jaques in Stephens Green a jaques in Stephens Green, a jaques in Stephens Green repeat ad infinitum (Jaques = public toilet, pronounced 'jacks') (Stephen's Green = a park in central Dublin) I seem to detect a trend here... :-> KS |
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| Some notes: Songs contributed by Kay Shapero were from Los Angeles in the late '50s and early '60s. "Teacher, Teacher..." overheard in the midwest, mid '60s |