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as of October 2003
This is a set of brief biographies of some of the entities (famous or infamous) to be found in the pages of the fanzine INTERCEPTED. A list of all currently claimed aliases follows the biographies.
| ARDELEIN |
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| Elfland, basically. Location is protected from entry from other time lines, worlds, or whathaveyou by a magic construct called The Barrier. To get through the thing in EITHER direction requires a device called a Key. Keys are made of a special metal alloy, shaped into a spiral form and set into a piece of jewelry or other article of clothing. Currently three travellers from Ardelein are with the questers on the raft: Virain Tal-Virain: Male elf, hereditary prince of the province of Virain in the land of Ardelein. Virain is currently under a regency until Virain is of age; he is out on a quest to prove something or other by exploring in other lands. Has an unfortunate tendancy to go off half cocked which is how he managed to lose his Key. Is now looking for it. Lisaine Bin-Lara: Female elf, from the land of Chisala, which is outside of Ardelein. Met up with Virain on his travels, rescued him from a dragon he'd managed to annoy, and found herself stuck with him, mostly because of her (probably accurate) feeling that he had no business out without a keeper. Is beginning to wonder if this was a serious mistake. Has picked up a number of interesting things in her wanderings. H'rrll: Furfolk (resembles white cougar), also from Virain, and keeper of the Travel Box. Charged with trying to keep the heir from killing himself (why?) but hampered by the fact that Virain outranks him and is a graduate cum laude of the Han Solo School of Action Without Thought. Think of Virain as a very new, commissioned 2nd lt, without the faintest notion of what sergeants are for. |
| THE FICTATOR |
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| The Fictator is a reader of INTERCEPTED who will, every now and then, shout advice or warnings to various characters under the impression that they can hear him. |
| GARY MILLER |
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| Human male, average height (1.7M), early 30's, brown hair, fair-skinned with the mild ruggedness of one who spends time in the wilderness. A native of Reading, PA (23rd Century), he works for a company called Earthworks which restores ecosystems. His favorite things in life include hikes in the wilderness, historic buildings, Monty Python's Flying Circus, and his wife, Tana (qv). He simply adores her, and will do what he can to protect her from harm. He wears the Lapin token of LifeMating, a wooden bracelet inlaid with brass, which, for some strange reason gives him the ability to summon up characters and stock props from Monty Python. (Source: an unpublished, serialized love story by Philip B. Smith.) |
| HAMEGG AND KUTTA |
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| Hamegg, although still of indeterminate age, has had a forty-year career portraying sleazy lowlifes, aided both by his naturally ruthless, self-centered personality and by a set of teeth two sizes too large for his mouth, which set his face in a villianous leer no matter what expression he tries to affect. He has claimed a variety of nationalities, from British to German, but has appeared mainly in Japanese cartoons and American adaptations of same. (His most memorable roles on Western TV are Cacciatore, the robot slaver from Astro Boy, and Viper Snakeley, not-so-great white hunter from Kimba the White Lion.) Notwithstanding, he also remains a prime suspect in the death of Bambi's mother, despite the recent evidence implicating the late Judge Doom... His forty-year anthology career has caused Hamegg to break the fourth wall and realize he is a fictional character. This has led to a discontent with his typecasting and a gradually growing desire to portray a hero and come out a winner just once. Kutta ("Tubby" to friends, enemies, and a few casual acquaintances) is a rotund individual who has had a similarly long career playing overweight, perpetually hungry oafs. He partnered Hamegg at least once, dividing his time between aiding and abetting and feeding his face. He has no objection to helping his old crony try to be the hero this time (the comedy-relief sidekick role being pretty much the same no matter what side you are on) but is fairly skeptical about Hamegg's chances of success. Source: the many works of Osamu Tezuka |
| MARSHAL GRAHAM |
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| Marshal Graham was minding his own business in 1873 when the Galactic Federation of the 26th century pulled him out of his own era to battle a renegade scientist-cum-time-lord before he totally disrupted the space-time continuum. Since then, Graham has bounced from era to era, taking on amazon cavewomen, central casting Indians, runaway robots, homicidal zombies, hostile wizards, mad Saracens, chainsaw-wielding crazies, combat-happy ninja and assorted other threats to his health and well-being. In addition to being handy with his gun, Graham is quite good at hand-to-hand combat. His adventures in some eras have also given Graham a fair amount of skill with the short sword. Occasionally, Graham's presense causes a localized time anomaly in the immediate area. Source: "Time Traveler", the SEGA arcade game. |
| NESSIE |
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| AKA the Loch Ness Monster, prefers to call herself a Loch Ness DRAGON. Has two winged offspring, Angus and Fiona thanks to one Raugh the Black Dragon (and one Greystar Pascal, a musteline geneticist with a strange sense of humor...) Lives in a swimming pool in Ye Ed's basement when not out at the Loch, or travelling about. Owns a Little Nash Rambler. Beep beep!! |
| RALPH WOLF |
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| Ralph (aka Wile E. Coyote, though he's not using that persona here because there's not a roadrunner in sight) needs no introductions. He's the same as he was in the old Warner cartoons...the same fanatical singlemindedness, the same incredible physical resilience, the same fantastic ingenuity, and, of course, the same monumentally lousy karma... Still, things have been looking up since he met Brandy Lee, his one true love, to whom he was recently married in this very 'zine. Really! |
ALIASES CURRENTLY CLAIMED
The 2 foot pink elephant
Acetelyn Lamp
Acia
Acme Inspector #567
AI #367
AI #500
Anna May (Cheesecake Squad)
The Anti-Shadowcat Association Of Minor Deities
The Arctophile
Ataru
Atropos
Augustus Bear
Avernio
Barney's Sister, Holly The Hota-Saur
Bernie
The Bit Bucket Brigadier
The Blinded Cyberbear
The Boo Birds
Bradamante Hoka
Brandy
Bud
C. Columbus
The C.F.'S Spy
Cable Commandos
Camilla Sterling "The Old Bat"
Candie Chipmunk
Cat House Crew
The Cheesecake Squad
Cloaked Figure
The Cloaked Figure's Engineer
Collin Meeks
Colonel K
The Crew of the Alice P. Liddell; "Patch" Wurk, "Stretch" Marx and Alacrity Pace
Crystal The Puma
Cyberspacecadet
Dana Cohen
Dana MacMillan
Devan Shell
The Devil Girls
The Doctor (8th Incarnation)
Dr. Demento Fan
Dr. Peter Salt
Dr. Reginald Bushroot (Reggie)
Droopy
The Dude In Sunglasses
The Dynamic Ram
Edison Carter
Ei'ko (Cheesecake Squad)
Ellie Font
E'mi'ko (Cheesecake Squad)
E'ri' (Cheesecake Squad)
Etso'yo (Cheesecake Squad)
Eva Earlong
Executioner Turnip
Eyegor
A Few Dozen Rodents
The Fictator
Fleur-Du-Mal
The Font Fintoozler
Francis Puumphandle
Franq Pinky Shelley
Freakazoid
Fred, The Giant Air-Breathing Cuttlefish With The Tour On Its' Back
Gary Miller
The Genie Of The Zine
Gennie Harmon Aka Watcher 7
The Ghost of Mrs. White
The Ghostly Trio
The Giant Gardener
Gosalyn Mallard
The Grapevine
The Great Intercepted Band
H (Of Flight A)
H'rrll
Hamegg
Hana'yo (Cheesecake Squad)
Harriet The Hippo
Harry Wonton
Haru-Mi (Cheesecake Squad)
Hell's Hares
Hello Nurse (In Various Incarnations)
Hercule Perot
Higeoyaji
Inspector Gray
Jazz Jackrabbit
The Jinjos Five
Jo
Johnny Pew
Justice Machine 7233
Kansan Killer Kohlrabi
Kate Kookaburra
Kei
Kekko Karmen
Kettan (Tan)
Kett'n
Kindly Spirit
The Klingon Lover
Kmar
Kutta
La'fey
The Laird Of The White Bookworm
Launchpad Mcquack
Lina Inverse
Lisaine Bin-Lara
Lola Bunny
The Lone Haranguer
Louise L'amour
Lt. John Loki Bear
The Luggages
Lum
The MAD Scientist
Major Mackintosh
Malcom Brand
Marchioness Anita De Pussay, Head Mole-Bimbette
Mari Wanabe
Marshal Graham
Marvin The Martian
Mary Sue Myerbeer
The Masked Hedgehog
The Massive Ugly Spaceship
The Mean Shillelagh
The Merchant
Miki
Molly Cunningham (Aka Dangerwoman)
The Morel Majority
Morocco Mole
Mo-Ron
Mr Ad-Man
Ms. Vavoom
Mughi
Multi-Man
Naga The Serpent (Slayers)
Nessie
The New Moon
The Nurse
Old Man Happosai
Omaha
Oscar Zoroaster Diggs
Oxnard SDF
Phil The Cat
Pikachu
The Pirates
The Popcorn Seller
Power Bull
Prometheus
The Protect-Server (Gravsled)
Psil O'Cybin
The Pudgy Mermaid
Q (STTNG)
Ralph (Not The Wolf)
Ralph Wolf
Rasta Claws
Renegade Xparxes
Rincewind
Rinderciller
Riposte
Rita Roswell
Rogero Hoka
Roman
Sa'brina
Sam & Ed, NYSD
Sam Sherif
SAX
A Seeker Of Knowledge
Sergeant Shamrock
Shameless Marketing
A Shapely Salesgirl
Sheba Kahn
Shiela The Short
Shiera The Were-Cat
Shiver the Weasel
Shizu'ka (Cheesecake Squad)
The Skipper (Gilligan's Island)
A Small Cloud
The Smokycats
Spike
Stanley, A Parisian Majick Rock
Steely Dan Quail
Sugi'no (Cheesecake Squad)
A Swimmer Who Has Been Without A Date For Awhile
Tami'ye (Cheesecake Squad)
Tana Miller
Ta'zo'ko (Cheesecake Squad)
Team Rocket
Thelma Karnage
Thianc
Tinker Belle From Hell
Twiki
Two-Puss
The Unspeakable Fiend
Various Pokemon
Vicky
Virain tal Virain
Wanda "The Wicked Lady" Wolf (Black Wolf Vixen)
Wendell Nerdsley
The White Cat On Ye Ed's Shoulder
The Widow Hatrack
Xelloss
Xparx (All Of Them)
Xparx-Rfs (All Of Them)
Yuri
Zone